As a consequence of hiring elderly people, and in the case of Keith Richards, legally dead, Jazz Fest’s main stage has had trouble maintaining an actual central act. Fortunately, the staff is now thinking outside the box, and they’ve come to exciting conclusions. Kevin and Company will be taking the main stage this year.
Kevin, a gutter punk whose band started touring the sidewalks last week, is excited, to say the least. “I started out as one dude on kazoo, and things just took off from there. Now we have two kazoos, a trombone, an electric triangle, and some guy on a five-string guitar. We’ve made it baby!”
But there is some debate if Kevin and Company will be able to keep their slot, as hygiene has become a major issue. “No way are we taking a shower,” Kevin says, “It ruins our authenticity.” While it’s debatable if smell like urine and mules is necessary to the show, Kevin and Company is taking a stand where it counts.
So so long as there’s a truckload of Narcan nearby, no need for hygiene, and a kazoo band that only plays covers of 80’s teen mall pop sensation, Tiffany, the show should be a success.*
*Kevin and Company just announced they have canceled following a kazoo-related accident.
Michael David Raso has worked as a writer, editor, and journalist for several different publications since graduating from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. If you like this piece, you can read more of his work here.